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batfakforever
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Name: Running Bear
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Chicago
Birthday: 1/3/1987
Interests: Cartooning, Procrastinating, watching funny movies, old war movies, eating Chipotle, entertaining people in whatever way I can, playing computer games, and History.
Expertise: Procrastinating, comedy, writing, ideas, childish scribbles people call "cartoons," and lounging around like the lazy bastard I am.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Yahoo:  thpassionofthenightdog
AIM:  Codename Twinky
AIM:  Josh Jobbe
Member Since:
10/25/2004
 Lifetime
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| On my way to class today, I received a text message from a friend of mine asking to borrow some of my unique skills. You see, her boss is a flaming douchebag, and she felt that he was past due for a verbal ass-stomping.
I was happy to oblige, and adopted the persona of a well-to-do Belgian jackass, and proceeded to troll the living shit out of him.
Me: Excuse me, I am from Belgium, and my English it is not so perfect.
Furniture Lady: That's alright, what did you need?
Me: I am in ze requiring of a very specific chair, ze Ashley Signature San Marco recliner, and I am needing three of zem today.
Furnture Lady: I'm sorry sir, but we've sold out of them.
Me: Zis is unacceptable. Send to me your boss, your your, how is it... manager.
Furniture Lady: *sigh* okay, wait here.
~ Lengthy Pause ~
Manager: Can I help you?
Me: Oh how nice of you to not hurry, eet is not like I have anything else to do today.
Manager: Um. Is there-
Me: Your pathetic brothel of a store has lied to me. I am seeking zis chair, and your wesite says zat you are having eet, but ven I get here, not only do you not have eet, but zere ees no no, eh, how is zis word?
Manager: Display.
Me: DEES PLAY model. Zis terrible store eez my, how is eet... contingency plan. I have been to ze Sears and ze, ze, Orland and no one has zis Goddamned chair!
Manager: Now calm down, I'm sure we can find-
Me: Oh I am not finished with you, you impossible man! I would buy zis display model, pay you extra, zis store is very dirty I figure you would do zis sort of thing-
Manager: Excuse me?
Me: -but apparently zis is beyond your fucking mental capacity.
Manager: There's no need for profanity.
Me: I will profane to you as much as I wish, you twig-like little homo!
Manager: Look, you want the chair!?
Me: Peh. Maybe.
Manager: I can get it to you from Markham-
Me: Yeeugch! Zen on my way I suppose I shall pick up a bottle of Colt 45 and get shot in ze face. I do not know why I expected proper service in zis awful country.
Manager: I can get the three of them right now, just-
Me: Nein! I have far to much money to be wasting my time in zis filthy excuse for a store! Keep your diseased chairs, good day sir!
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| Those German kids left tons of beer behind that I really, really don't want to drink.
My classes are... well, like they always are. They've lost their initial appeal, and I still get stuck drawing naked folks.
For whatever reason, I've lost my inclination to write up Xanga posts.
Maybe because it's grey and depressing outside.
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| Curse those LEGO fuckers.
Canceled my thing. Now I get zero swag.
Its probably for the better; I went to the mall later in the day on unrelated business, and the joint was full of kids and old people.
I hate kids and old people.
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| I have returned from Colorado, the land of scruffy hobos, lack of oxygen, and perilous raft trips.
Although I did stay at some pretty sweet hotels along the way.
Highlights: I procured a fan-fucking-tastic piece of headgear, my mom fell into yet another body of water, I bought presents for a certain bunch of ingrates, and I didn't play any video games for a previously-unheard-of eight days.
Now I need to deal with my dumb classes for this semester, and get weady for some volunteer work at- are you ready for this- the grand opening of the LEGO store in Orland Park. They claim to be paying in gift certificates, food, and swag.
Bleuch. Fingers = crossed.
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| Starting about 9:00 AM this morning, I got a series of calls from some asshole in a recording saying that I have some 'message' waiting for me. The recording sounded like the person they were looking for was named "Colleen," it was hard to tell because it went by really fast.
I've been getting these calls randomly for like a week, but they laid them on thick today. Thus, I became angry.
The following telephone conversations concerning the worst Debt Collection Agency the world has ever seen are true. Some names have been changed to protect the stupid.
Me: *Dials Number*
Bitch: Valentine and Kebartas.
Me: ...Hi. Who are you?
Bitch: Sigh. Hold on. *Puts me on hold*
Asshole: Valentine and Kebartas, this is Jim.
Me: Hi. Who are you, and why do you keep calling me?
Asshole: *Grumble* Give me your phone number and area code.
Me: Obviously you already have my number, otherwise I wouldn't be calling you asking why YOU are always calling ME.
Asshole: I don't have to deal with this. *Hangs up*
Me: Oh hell no you didn't. *Redials*
Bitch: Valentine and Kebartas.
Me: Hey. Who are you?
Bitch: *Grunts, puts me on hold*
Asshole #2: Sigh. Paul. I'm having a real bad day so why don't you make this quick.
Me: What the...? Dude, fucking grow a pair, I don't give a shit about how your day is going. I want to know why you pe-
Asshole #2: Fine you know what? Whatever, have a nice day. *Hangs up*
Me: ...Little bitch. *Re-redials*
Bitch: Valentine and Ke-
Me: HI THERE!!1! Who are you?
Bitch: *Puts me on hold*
Asshole #3: Valentine and Kebartas, this is Mike.
Me: Hi, who are you, and why do you keep calling me?
Asshole #3: Valentine and Kebartas. We're a collection agency, and you must have an account balance. Give me your phone number and I'll check.
Me: An account? You guys don't even know who I am.
Asshole #3: According to this, you have an account balance for that number under the name "Puddin Tame."
Me: ...Puddin Tame.
Asshole #3: Yes.
Me: Puddin Tame.
Asshole #3: Yes sir.
Me: So... I mean, are you like... retarded? Or do you seriously not realize that's a fake name?
Asshole #3: ...So that's not you.
Me: That's not anybody.
Asshole #3: I've taken your number off the list. Have a nice day.
~ fin ~
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